How Can We Ever Understand Each Other?
(Santa Fe, NM) – To answer my own question, tersely; the way I go on to define ‘understanding’, means we never can, not truly. There are on average 100 trillion neural connections in the human brain. You would have to know the same 100 trillion different things and have taken the exact same conclusion from those things, to understand the average person. There are many things that we can glean from this, ideally, it should mean that we never stop trying to understand. But we never expect ourselves to know everything about everyone. Ideally, it means we never give up on each other. Sadly, many do not take this conclusion, many people take the idea that we shouldn’t care what others think. That it only reflects negatively on themselves that they judge. Of course, there is a social concept of judging others that is sh**** of those people, but misunderstandings, even the bad ones, are fundamental to even attempting to understand not just the concept of the Human brain, but also, understanding who you are, yourself. I have written a lot about the college that I am enrolled in. One thing that I have learned from it, simply put, to understand yourself, is to understand fundamentally who other people are.
The knowledge that I have gathered from half a semester of college, is not academic. It is an understanding of who I am, fundamentally. Of course, this will not surprise anyone older than the age of 18. Any experience that I could’ve gone through would’ve given me the same thing. Inherently, gaining wisdom is a process gained through age and experience. While the wisdom I am gaining is certainly accelerated, in some sense, it is not novel. Sadly, a lot of what has happened in the College that I am enrolled in is not due to anything but my lack of understanding of myself. What I want in my life, or even, what I want from my future.
I am not writing this opinion piece in order to explain myself, that would be silly. To paraphrase the grand President of the 5th French Republic, my thoughts are too complex for journalists (and readers of the radical times). All of this to say that, I have been through legitimately traumatic experiences, experiences that have led me to spend months on and off in mental hospitals to manage my medication, simply because they had no idea what I had, what I wanted to do with myself, and what medication would work with my uniquely sh** brain chemistry.
That’s all you really need to know about me, that my life has sucked sometimes. To quote one of my old friends, who would probably no longer describe me as a friend, “sanity is relative, I don’t have it, and neither do you”. This brings me back to my question, how can you, dear average reader of this website (generally an American, probably of the younger generations, and most likely found this website through a direct link, or twitter), ever understand me, an insane guy who doesn’t want to go to the college that I go to right now? Simply put, you can go to the mental hospital, or you can believe in empathy. Practice it. And finally, stop asking me, (are you) okay. Because, if I wanted you to know, I would’ve told you. And if I wasn’t, you would know. It’s sad that this needs to be stated. But there are many revered institutions of American culture, many revered psychiatrists, and at least two venerated and learned lawyers (one of which is also a solicitor in the U.K). Who have learned that life for me has been long, and brutish. But, in order to at least attempt to understand myself, and my own thoughts, I can’t ever let it be short. To end this essay in a way that others may understand more easily, empathy isn't a trait you have, it's a practice. A skill, that sometimes you have (for whatever good reason) and sometimes you don't have much of at all (for whatever bad reason). All we can do in life is try our best, and while I do not want to anger you, cherished reader, I don't even know who you are. Sadly, you are a number on a screen, one of about 3,000 over the past year. That is, to be put bluntly, depressing to me. I wish I could understand you, like you do me after reading this opinion piece.
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